I'm not sure how to write this without sounding like a bitter 30-something -- so just to be clear, that's not how I'm feeling. I'm just kind of...you know when you have a day when things are kind of annoying, and at some point you just shrug your shoulders, sigh and get on with whatever needs doing? That's how I'm feeling, in relation to dating.
See, here's the thing: I might die alone with cats. Or dogs. Or fish. Whatever. My point is that no matter how many times your friends and family say, "you're amazing and will definitely meet someone -- anyone would be lucky to have you," it's not always true. Not everyone meets someone who's right for them and some people -- some great people, even -- end up being single forever.
Would this be the worst thing in the world for me (or anyone, for that matter)? Obviously not. I firmly believe that two people in a relationship need to have full, fulfilling lives before finding each other; I have one now and plan to continue having one, no matter what happens -- so I'd be fine, and I'd continue to have lots of amazing experiences and relationships.
At the same time, I've accepted that it's okay to want to grow old with someone -- and that I absolutely do want that. Which might seem like a weird sentence, but it took me a long time to admit that, largely because saying it makes me feel like a freaky husband-shopper or something (which is far from the truth). So there you go.
In any case, the point of this blog (which seems to be getting lost as I veer off on tangent after tangent) is that it has occurred to me that dating is really rather ridiculous. Necessary, but ridiculous. Can you think of any other thing that you do over and over and over...and over...and over and over...without succeeding, that you'd just keep trying? Sometimes for decades?
I suspect that if I'd been trying out for a softball team for more than 10 years without success, the people who care about me might think, "good for her -- but maybe she should take up macrame" or something. But dating? It's all about getting back on the horse. Or horses. And while I'm normally all about that, and believe that at some point success in dating is a numbers game -- meaning that you just have to keep meeting people and go into dates hoping for a friend, and being pleasantly surprised if something more comes of it -- I need to get off the horse and away from the barn for a while. Because it's really f-ing tiring from time to time, and my head is hurting from the wall banging.
