Conversation on the bus (or: my very own admirer -- sweet!)

Saturday, on the bus with Alissa, I found myself -- not for the first time, nor I'm sure for the last -- face to face with a crazy person. Crazy's hair was insanely disheveled in a manner comparable to Doc Brown's in Back to the Future, his clothes were so unclean that it seemed possible to grow flowers in their dirt and his teeth had seen better days. Similar in shape and color to corn kernels, they were fascinating in a revolting sort of way and I couldn't stop myself from sneaking disgusted peeks. In between the peeks, I internally scolded myself for being grossed out by his chompers and general appearance and then went back to being grossed out again. And then...

Crazy: Are you a student?

Me: (looking to make sure he was talking to me) Nope, I'm not.

Crazy: Did you go all the way through school?

Me: Yeah, I did.

Crazy: What's your degree in?

Me: Um...

Crazy: I'm a writer.

Me: Are you? That's great. What do you write?

Crazy: Free-verse poetry.

Me: Ahh. Cool.

Crazy: I spent $8,000 printing books last year. And another $4,400 on envelopes and stamps.

Me: (not sure where this is going) Wow. Really?

Crazy: I mailed the books to people.

Me: Well, good for you -- you must be happy that people are reading what you're writing.

Crazy: I mailed them to priests. And celebrities. And libraries at community colleges.

Me: Ahh. Wow. That's really nice of you.

Crazy: You going to publish a book?

Me: Maybe someday.

Crazy: (nearly staring through me) Are you a Sagittarius?

Me: Taurus actually -- why?

Crazy: I'm a Pisces.

Me: (nodding toward Alissa) She's a Pisces.

Crazy: My dad was a Pisces. He wanted nothing to do with me. (glares at Alissa, looks back at me)

Me: (looking at Alissa for help) Oh.

Crazy: You look like Sarah Brightman.

Me: I'm not sure if that's a...I'm not sure I know who she is.

Alissa: She's a singer; she has a beautiful voice.

Me: Ahh. I'd love to be a good singer, but I'm just not.

Crazy: You look like Sarah Brightman.

Me: This is our stop. Have a good one.

Crazy: (with something on his lip that didn't look unlike a bit of tooth, smiling) Yes. Bye.

...and then our stop came and we got off the bus.  I really wish I had a spy cam some days. Not only could I have videotaped Crazy, but the fun little old man across from him who was all decked out in Texas Cheerleader gear. Never boring.

 

Comments

[ms. sizzle]

he can't be that crazy if he thinks you look like sarah brightman. it's the eyes. ;)

http://www.sarah-brightman.com/

[Kevin]

You meet people in San Francisco dressed in Texas Cheerleader garb who clearly are not actually Texas Cheerleaders? Damn I love that city!

[Alissa]

We totally could have captured the rants of the guy waiting for the bus with us who talked about the 34 year old "who couldn't even CONVERSATE on his level!"

I loved that Crazy kind of glanced at me and then went back to staring at you. He wanted nothing to do with me. It was fabulous.

[Dave Greten]

The part where he asked if you were a Sagittarius made me laugh out loud. That is the sort of random-ness that only the truly insane have.

[sandra]

Sizz - I checked out her site and think that I'd be happy to look like her!

Kevin - he was spectacular. He had on a UT baseball hat and a Texas Cheerleader shirt UNDER his suit coat. With one of those weird little ties with the thin leather bits which hang down. Alissa wanted to put him in her pocket and keep him.

Alissa - yes, the conversator was fantastic too. I believe he was mostly ranting about how the guy dating his baby-mama (is there a name for that? the guy, I mean?) wasn't on his level.

Dave - that made me laugh, as did the "free-verse poetry" answer. It wasn't what I was expecting.

[sandra]

p.s. - Sizz, if you click on my flickr link, there's a bunch of pics from the weekend -- there's some from dinner on there!

[Rabbit]

Well, I for one am now that much more determined to become a writer. Thanks for the inspiration, Crazy.

[brandon]

when we meet next month in NYC, we're totally reenacting this dialogue. you be crazy. I'll be alissa.

[Jacynth]

This is why I love SF. But yes, that Sarah Brightman comment was quite a compliment, she's a hottie!

[Elaine]

Sarah Brightman is a hottie - take it as a compliment even if he is crazy. I love those people that are so weird that you just can't help but stare at them.

[Brian]

Sometimes I consider that I may not be too far from being that crazy.... ;-)

[sandra]

Rabbit - apparently you'd be in very good company, although it seems that vanity publishing is on the rise...

Brando - I think that's a fine idea. Although I do kind of like my teeth the way they are.

J - at least he didn't tell me he wanted to fry my eyeballs, eh?

Elaine - definitely a compliment! I'm just musically rather out of touch at the moment and had no idea who he was talking about. I had a horrible feeling that he was referencing someone hideous and that I'd be forced to stare in the mirror and think, "does it look like I have warts all over my face, really?"

Brian - it's a fine line...!

[Paul Davidson]

Hey, he's a lonely writer just looking for a Saggitarius, right? You probably made his day.

[Stacy]

I was wondering what happened to my Texas Cheerleader outfit!

[Neil]

Bloggers beware: This could happen to YOU if you blog too much and decide to become "a writer."

[sandra]

Pauly D - well...yes. I do what I can. The Sarah Brightman thing kind of made me happy in hindsight.

Stacy - I wish I'd known to get it back from him!

Neil - by this do you mean that you'll be forced to lose your teeth and self-publish, or be hit on by random men on buses?

[pookalu]

man, i love crazies in big cities. well, from afar.

makes for great stories.....

may you have a similar NYC experience, so that you can balance out the coasts!