internal monoblog - the weblog of sandra heikkinen

Judging (or: civil rights)

One of my favorite things to do when I was in elementary school was to watch the Miss USA pageant, every year, with my friend Colleen. While neither of us were interested in being beauty queens -- despite putting on the occasional fashion show for her parents -- and in fact, had very little interest in the nitty-gritty content of the competition, there was just something fun about watching 50 women get up on stage and do their best.

Also, it was fun to critique their fashion and ridiculous answers to questions posed by the panel.

Anyway. I don't remember much about the pageant being controversial when I was younger, the occasional nude photo scandal aside. If you've been following the news around this year's competition, however, you know that the story has changed; Miss California responded to blogger Perez Hilton's question around gay marriage (during the competition) by saying that she believes marriage should be between a man and a woman, and the proverbial shit hit the fan on both sides of the political fence.

The folks who are against gay marriage have been shouting that the contestant has the right to say and think whatever she wants, and the folks who support gay marriage have loudly criticized her commentary as ignorant and ridiculous.

Me? I stand firmly on the latter side of the fence, but have always tried hard to be open-minded enough to accept other people's opinions on the topic and firmly believe in the freedom of speech. I've realized recently, though, that I can't actually accept the concept of being against gay marriage as valid.

So while I completely believe that anyone should be able to say or think anything they want to think (my favorite quote, from Voltaire: "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."), I will admit that I am judging the content of what Miss California said.

See, I don't consider the idea that two men or two women shouldn't be allowed to marry any different than someone saying an African-American shouldn't be allowed to marry a white woman, or that a Catholic shouldn't be able to marry someone of Jewish faith. It's bigotry, plain and simple; gay rights are civil rights, and the gay community is not asking for more rights than anyone else. They are simply reminding us (as in, the more traditionally mainstream/straight community) that separate has never been -- and will never be -- equal. And I, for one, am glad that the judges did not choose a Miss USA who believed otherwise.

I'm having a moment (or: falling in love with NYC, and my friends, all over again)

There are so many amazing things about NYC -- and more specifically, living in NYC -- that I'm not sure it'd be possible for me to list all of them.

What I can easily say, though, is that living here feels completely right to me...and that just when I think I've gotten used to living here, I'll have a moment when I look around and fall in love with the city all over again. Canned though it sounds, the energy, possibilities, people and sheer clusterfuck that is millions and millions of people moving in some sort of flow between each other (and a lot of buildings) does amazing things for me -- both in terms of energy and happiness, and just plain old mental health.

What's even cooler, though, is that in the 2-1/2 years I've lived here, I've managed to find an amazing group of friends -- an Urban Family, if you will -- in the city, and those people make NYC home.

I had my second annual Easter Feast with a good portion of my NYC Urban Family this afternoon, and I'm now happily full of beer, brisket, carbs and veggies. But more importantly, I left feeling grateful for the chance to know such fabulous people, and I fell in love with my life here all over again. Which feels pretty friggin' good.

Not nice of me or my friend (or: fun with texting)

I went on a (blind) date last night, which was...well, ridiculous. The guy I met was one of the most uninformed people I've encountered in ages (he actually asked me, "so, do you think the recession is going to impact NYC at some point?" as if there had been no layoffs or crises in the city in the past six months -- among other inane things) and it was PAINFUL. I am convinced he actually may live in a cave.

At some point, my level of annoyance was overwhelming and it became hard to be nice, so I politely ended the evening...and then had the following text exchange with one of my favorite people in the world. We're not nice, but I do find us amusing.

Him: I love it. And it's okay to be mean to dumb people. I don't think they know the difference.

Me: I actually just choked on my wine. This is why I adore you.

Him: The fact that you are still having wine [ed note: it was Midnight] makes me love you.

Me: Also, it's in a coffee mug and I'm finishing watching Ray J.

Him: If I were only straight.

Me: Or I were a gay man...actually, can you imagine how horrific (and by that, I mean amazing) our DVR would be?

Him: We would have to fight over who got to watch Ray J vs. Tool Academy. Amazing.

Me: We'd just get two DVRs in our fab house. Or have wine and forget what we were fighting about. Or our manservant, Rick [ed note: our fave bartender] would settle it.

Him: I am telling him that when we see him next.

Me: I don't doubt that.

Grocery delivery companies = funny (or: more signage)

Loved this -- just outside my office building...

Signage (or: weird rules?)

From a club not too far from my house...would you expect a place called Porky's to have these rules?

He's Just Not That Into You: the alternative (or: a convo between me and Carly)

Me and Carly, a few hours ago (notably, while watching The Bachelor: After the Final Rose...part deux...virtually)

Carly: So whatever happened to Irish Guy?

Me: I never heard from him again. I feel certain he was run over.

Who woulda thunk it? (or: a rather random realization)

Last weekend, during my "happy birthday, Grandma" phone conversation...

(90-year-old) Grandma: Well, I just hope you meet a man before I die.

Me: (laughing) Grandma, that's just mean! And I plan to have you around for quite a while, still, so I don't think we need to call in the troops just yet.

Grandma: (laughing) I'd just like to meet him.

Me: Me too, Grandma...me too.

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Here's the thing: for the first time in my life, I can honestly say that I feel neutral about the concept of meeting someone. And possibly, even a little bit like I enjoy the concept of being with someone more in theory than in practice. I love my life -- my friends, my family, my job, the things I get to do on a regular basis -- and it would take a lot for someone to be fabulous enough to get a spot in the same.

That's all.

Relativity (or: life stages)

An excerpt from a conversation between me and a friend I hadn't seen or talked to in ages, yesterday...

Him: So you have a great apartment now, right?

Me: Yup, five blocks from work. It's awesome, aside from the fact that my bathroom has no sink -- but I think that adds character, and since I don't cook, it's easy enough to use the kitchen sink.

Him: (laughing)

Me: You guys are still in the same house, right? Will there be babies soon?

Him: Not soon, no; we're the last holdouts of our good friends, I think, on the kid front.

Me: Well, if you count me, you're not -- but I suppose I'm not even dating anyone, let alone married to someone, so that makes sense.

Him: It sounds to me like you're still working on indoor plumbing.

Deal-breakers (or: the big little things)

I went on a (blind) date with a guy last night, who seemed super-cool -- or at least really funny/entertaining -- during the lead-up to said date. And then I met him, and learned that he:

1. Hates cheese
2. Hates The Daily Show
3. Believes there are only four places in the US "worth being." In case you're wondering, they are: NYC, Miami, Vegas and LA
4. Does there need to be anything else? (if so, I could hit on his total snobbery, fixation on all things financial, condescending tone...and more)

As it turns out, it's possible to really, really dislike someone in just 45 short (or in this case, LONG seeming) minutes.

Sizz interviews me (or: Citizen Journalism at its finest)

A while back, Sizzle posted this. I signed up to participate...so, here goes.

1) You used to live in SF and now you live in NY. . . what's one thing about San Francisco you miss (and you can't say your friends because, well, DUH)?

I miss sunny, fabulous, relaxing days in Dolores Park. Also, the abundance of amazing Mexican food. That's two, I know -- but I'm crazy like that.

2) If you met Jon Stewart in person and got to talk to him, what would you say?

Oh god. I honestly think I'd be tongue-tied (for approximately the first time in my life). If I could gather myself -- and if I hadn't already launched myself at him/hugged him profusely and made him run away -- I think I'd tell him that I admire his intelligence, humor and wit, and that he/his staff make a lot of bad news a lot easier to bear. I'd also tell him that I was really touched by the fact that, the day I went and saw a live taping of The Daily Show, he took time after the show to talk to a soldier and his wife who had just returned from the Middle East. And that his election coverage was AMAZING.

3) What's a quality/characteristic that you admire in others?

I admire people who consistently make the choice to choose their life -- and don't just let it happen to them, if that makes sense. Basically, I think that everyone has the power to make the choices to make his/herself as happy as possible given a particular set of circumstances. I admire people who actually make these choices, instead of wallowing and not trying to change things for the better.

4) Favorite take out food?

This is such a hard question, given that I get...well, an obscene amount of it. Lately, I've been on a good salads kick -- but if calories weren't an option, I might go with Mexican. Or pizza. Or sushi. Or Thai...and now I'm hungry.

5) You get to go on an all expenses paid vacation. Woo hoo! Which of these three would you pick and why?
A) China
B) Peru
C) Iceland

I'd pick Peru, for sure. I've always wanted to hike there, and have heard nothing but amazing things about the gorgeousness of the landscape, etc. Plus, the weather's never ridiculously cold. I'd like to see Iceland and China someday, but Peru = definitely first on the list of those three (and high up on my list in general).

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Here are the meme details:
If you'd like to play along, just follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me." (And realize I might take a while to get back to you.)
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions. (Eventually!)
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. Be sure you link back to the original post.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.